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Get Free From Emotionally Unavailable People

Why We Get Hung Up On Emotionally Unavailable People

And How To Break Free  


Isn't it interesting how we get emotionally hung up on a person who triggers a deep, deep desire for a particular love-experience that this particular person does not deliver to us?


The purpose this person serves is to awaken you to the level of love you want.  She makes you aware of your heart's desire, your soul's craving for connection.  Your relationship problem begins when you identify that person as the source of the satisfaction you want.


People stay with abusive partners who have the uncanny ability to trigger the awareness of the kind of love the abused really longs for.  The strength of that desire keeps the abused in the relationship, because the desire is so strong that the abused is willing to suffer greatly as long as the hope for satisfaction remains.


The way to break free begins with recognizing the heart's longing that the emotionally unavailable person triggers in you.  Identify the level of loving connection that you assume to be the potential of an intimate relationship with that person.  


You want to feel totally loved, totally connected in love on all levels, physically, emotionally, sexually, intellectually and spiritually.  You want that so strongly that you are willing to go through hell for it.


You will begin finding your release from the unavailable person who triggers your awareness of this longing for love when you understand that the person who triggers the longing is never the person who can satisfy it.


This is revealed by the fact that this person is triggering longing, not fulfillment.  He is actually emptying you of the internal experience that you desire.


The instant that you identify another person as the source of the fulfillment of love that you desire you begin moving away from that fulfillment.  To move toward that fulfillment look for it within yourself, without identifying it with any other person.


When we fall in love with someone we identify that person as the source of the fulfillment we crave, but that does not last.  We soon come to realize that this person is actually not giving us that experience, and the more we count on her to give it the more emptiness we feel.


The feeling of being totally loved is something that you can only experience within yourself.  Open to the feeling of it and you will see that it begins welling up from within you. 


Whatever it is that you want from another you must give to yourself.  You give it to yourself by imagining yourself having what you want, feeling how it would feel to have it, without imagining any particular person giving it to you.


What happens then is that you begin experiencing the fulfillment in love that you crave.  And because the outer world reflects the inner world, you actually discover that you are manifesting in your experience the relationship that is conducive to you experiencing that fulfillment in love on a consistent basis.


If, though, you begin to identify this other person as the source of what you are feeling within, strife in the relationship begins to manifest, because you are demanding from that other person what he cannot give you.


Harmonious relationships with others are manifestations of a harmonious relationship with ourselves.


So we get hung up on emotionally unavailable people because we confuse the feeling of longing they trigger with the idea that they can satisfy that longing.  The way to break free is to give yourself the experience of love you long for.

Inspire your conference, convention, work team, association, school or spiritual group with the enlightening wisdom of Bob Lancer, inspirational speaker.  

Call 770-364-9580 or email for more information or to schedule your motivational seminar, training or inspiring keynote.

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