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Self-Leadership Development of Focus

Who's Business Are YOU Minding?

A most common interpersonal problem in the workplace is the habit of excessively thinking and speaking about what OTHER people should be doing.


While analyzing what others are up to we may be sacrificing our goals on the altar of neglect for our self-leadership development.  


We distract ourselves from the more important, really essential focus of scrupulously guiding our own conduct in the now by focusing too much on our opinions of the misconduct of others.


The motivation for this distracted focus may vary.  One example may be that we feel falsely relieved of our faults  by looking at someone else's, as was implied by the ancient Roman poet-philosopher Lucretius when he wrote:

"Sweet it is, when on the high seas the winds are lashing the waters, to gaze from the land on another's struggles."


Our goal-achievement is born out of the choices that WE make in the now.  While we are most certainly impacted by the actions of others, how we deal with those actions determines the level of success and satisfaction that we achieve for ourselves.


We can learn from the mistakes that we observe others making, but becoming too mentally and emotionally involved in minding another's business prevents us from recognizing and following our own most productive course of action in the now.


 Instead of dreaming up ideas of what another might do to improve things, think about what YOU can do.


Self-leadership development of focus for higher success occurs as you work on consciously and intentionally directing your thoughts, emotional responses, speech, actions and focus of attention in line with the goals you want to achieve.


To the extent that we distract ourselves from this all-important element of self-work we feel stuck and victimized by those we judge, analyze and criticize and resent them for not coming through for us.


But those who fall prey to this common distraction-pattern are really not coming through for themselves.


Perhaps one underlying cause of this pattern that warrants addressing here is an unconsciously held self-concept, cultivated in childhood.  Specifically, we may concern ourselves too much with others' conduct because we underestimate our own power to adequately take care of ourselves.

Two things may account for this self-esteem problem:


1... Childhood experiences in which we had reason to fear that the adult we counted on would prove unreliable


2... A parent projected upon us a belief in our helplessness, weakness or excessive vulnerability and we bought into it.


In the first case, our self-work involves developing the habit of trusting that others will do their own work, and that even if they don't, because we are not children, we will be fine as long as we do our own work.


One solution to the second case, that of a self-esteem problem, is for us to recognize our underlying self-concept of weakness, to dis-identify with it, and to cultivate a vision of individual strength and capability to identify with.


But the most crucial form of self-work that needs to be done is to practice being aware enough in the now to recognize when we are falling into the weak pattern of excessively focusing on what others should be doing.  For only when we recognize that this is happening can we redirect our focus.

Each moment, including right now, what you think about, speak about and even feel about is a choice, and the choice you make directs your life.  



Paying attention to our present moment experience is a choice that reveals our present opportunity to advance toward goal-achievement.  


Wasting much attention on analyzing, criticizing, worrying about and complaining about what others are up to in the workplace is like being so concerned with how other people are driving that you pay too little attention to how you yourself are driving in the now.


You are called upon right this instant to make a choice that is consistent with your own goal-achievement process.  If you abdicate that responsibility by focusing too much on how another is behaving, you are misleading yourself.


To engage in the self-leadership development of focus is to remember in each moment to be consciously, intentionally involved in directing our own lives toward higher accomplishment.


The next time that you feel tempted to judge or analyze another's conduct, ask yourself, “Is this really the best thing that I can do right now to be a great leader of my own life?”


This question can help you awaken in the now to the task of your self-leadership development of focus and reveal your true path to greater work-life success and satisfaction.



Improve the focus of your leadership, management and workforce.  Keep your organization aligned with the goals of the organization.  

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