How To Win WIth A Disrespectful Or Intimidating Boss

Disrespectful BossSome bosses are quite skilled at “psyching” an employee into doubting the value of his or her contribution to the organization.

An example of this is the president of a company who recently tried to “show up” his sales director by taking over a sales meeting in an effort to prove to everyone present that he, the president of the company, could do a better job.

There are bosses who will publicly insult an employee in a leadership position to achieve the same result.

One obvious motivation behind doing this is to discourage the employee from asking for or expecting a raise in pay.

This tactic can also be used to subtly manipulate an employee into accepting a cut in pay or into submitting to additional work-demands without additional compensation.Disrespectful Boss

A more personal motivation comes down to sheer, dysfunctional egotism rooted in an unconscious inferiority complex.  It may feed the boss’s insecure craving for a sense of power, superiority and worth to make you feel fearfully dependent upon his or her discretion.

 The point is that moment you become caught up in proving yourself you stop really being yourself and begin over-extending and disrespecting yourself.

 Employees who complain that their bosses are just too hard to please are often just falling for the ruse their boss is using to manipulate them into giving more and accepting less, including giving that boss more power over them than is really necessary or in their best interest.

When you feel afraid or even mildly anxious about your boss’s evaluation of your contribution, you give up your power to determine your own destiny.

Remember that no one hires you unless YOU make that happen.

believe in yourself The reality is that the only one who really has to believe in what you have to offer is YOU.

You will always reap what you sow.  Your results in life depend upon what YOU say, think, feel and do, not upon what another says, thinks or does.

This does not mean that the interests and opinions of others do not matter.  It means that your concept of yourself is a critical cause of how well you do and of how others see and relate with you.

When you worry about pleasing your boss you are distracted from making a REAL contribution, which not only lowers the real value of your work; it also makes your work unfulfilling.

 You weren’t hired to please your boss, even if your boss seems to try very hard to make you think that you were.

You were hired to do your best work in line with the aims of the organization.

As long as that remains your primary focus and intention you are acting in real integrity, which ultimately brings true honor to yourself.

Beyond this, self-confidence is one of the pillars that uphold competence.  You have to feel secure about yourself to do your best work, to make the best decisions, to access your highest level of creativity and problem-solving ability.

 Some bosses will go to great lengths to keep you guessing about their actual view of you as a sort of test to see how strong and capable you really are.

If you maintain your commitment to giving your best work without worrying about what your boss is up to, you may actually impress your boss with the strength of your character and be perceived as dependable instead of as dependent.

be self-assured As you practice feeling, thinking and acting authentically self-assured, you radiate a quality of personal power that inspires others to feel secure about you, demonstrate your highest ability and prove your true worth to the organization.

Where Being In Charge Begins: The Core Of Leadership Development

NON-reactivity is a great Leadership Skill.





NON-reactivity is a great Leadership Skill.

It is actually the true core of an effective leader’s training.

“Non-reactivity” means, essentially, that your initial response to any event is “relaxed emotional neutrality”.

This state places you in a true leadership position, because to be in charge begins with being in charge of yourself.

 When people or circumstances make you react, they are in charge.

NON-reactivity is a great Leadership Skill.

To be REactive means that you slip into an automatic reaction rather than a purposeful, strategic response.

 A reactive leader ignores goals,
needs and strategy.

 Strategic responsiveness, which means acting with purpose or aligning your response with needs and objectives, represents the essence of leadership.

A relaxed state of emotional neutral gives you access to your most resourceful leadership capacity.

NON-reactivity is a great Leadership Skill.

You can think more clearly, observe more accurately, and respond more strategically than when a reaction of stress and strain seizes hold of you.

In other words you lead more effectively when you respond with peace and poise than when you react with automatic emotional intensity.

Reactivity consumes leadership power.  Stress and strain produce an energy-drain.

Reactivity not only undermines your individual effectiveness.  As a leader you role model your mode.  So when you react, you model a draining, non-strategic mode of work for your followers, and lead them away from the positive work model you want them to demonstrate.

For example, a reactive mode always drains motivation. You lose your positiveNON-reactivity is a great Leadership Skill. attitude for as long as that reaction lasts.  As a consequence of the example you set, your followers are bound to demonstrate lower morale.

Non-reactivity empowers you to lead others, to lead yourself and your life more easily and enjoyably.

Non-reactivity is not merely a leader-skill to “believe in”.  It is a one of those “best leadership practices” that requires continual long-term exercise to develop.

Automatic reaction patterns are habitual, and habits that have been in charge for a long time can take a long time to weaken.

Whether opportunity or opposition befalls you, practice dealing with it in a state of relaxed emotional neutral.  From that point of peace and poise you can:

  •  Choose your response strategically
  •  Avoid the negativity and drain of stress and strain
  • Model higher performance and a more positive attitude
  • Direct events and lead people to more easily and effectively.

A relaxed state of emotional neutral gives you access to your most resourceful leadership capacity. Achieve a higher level of leadership success with more ease and enjoyment through by exercising the indispensable leadership skill of non-reactivity.