Ten Keys To Personal Success

 

Here are ten wisdom keys for more personal success in life.

1… Focus on making the most of your present moment  (instead of worrying about the future or if you would be better off in some other situation).

2… When you feel stressed or emotionally distressed, see if you can relax and calm down, even just a little bit, to rely on the wisdom calm confidence instead of the confusion produced by anxiety.

3… Avoid over-taxing your mind by forcing yourself to think when thinking feels like a strain.  The feeling of mental strain is a signal to rest the thinking-mind by dwelling in a calm, clear state of present awareness.

4… Every moment of time is a potential investment in creating the future that you want.  Instead of habitually living through the moment, try more consciously living IN the moment, so you can make better choices for directing your life.

5… When you feel frustrated, unhappy, discouraged or insecure look within (at your thoughts and feelings) to see what is really going on.  This will reveal that your ten keys to personal successcircumstances are not upsetting you, but rather how you are reacting to your circumstances is upsetting you.

6…. Most of our thinking and emotional reactions are HABITUAL, until we do the self-work necessary to consciously and deliberately select our thoughts and emotional responses strategically.

7… Human beings are not merely living creatures – we are living CREATORS.  We have the power to create a vision of the life we want, and we have the power to manifest that vision in our life.

8… Beware of intense emotional reactions.  They have a way of generating and attracting chaos in our life.  Practice handling all challenges in peace and poise.  Remember that there is really no such thing as a stressful situation; there are CHALLENGING situations that we may react to stressfullly.

9… Did you know that worry never works? Worry will not improve your life one bit.  Worry makes no one more effective. In fact, worry wears us down, makes us less effective, and therefore has a way of leading us into the conditions we worry about.

ten keys to personal success10… Whenever you doubt your ability to be totally successful and fulfilled you are not looking at the real you, but at a limiting self-concept that you have developed over time.  Let go of limiting self-concepts to release your authentic greatness!

 

As you apply these ten keys to personal success in daily living, a whole new life of splendid success will be yours!

Effectively Communicating With Difficult People – How To Win Even When You Lose

Effective communication skills in the workplace, as well as in our personal lives, need to include how to effectively communicate with difficult people.

We can define a difficult person as someone who seems unable or unwilling to cooperate with you in a way that you regard as reasonable.

From your perspective, this other person seems walled-off to your rational argument, unreasonably inflexible and pointlessly unreachable. It is not uncommon for the person who refuses to listen in a meaningful way to slip into a defense mechanism as a response to what he or she PERCEIVES as you personal attack.

Some people are so insecure because of their painful personal history that they interpret your attempt to influence them as an expression of negative personal judgement aimed at intentionally discrediting them.

So what you are often dealing with, when you encounter a person who is hard to get along with, is a wall of personal insecurity that blocks reason.

Some insecure people feel threatened and attacked if you recommend a way of doing something that differs from how they are operating.

They interpret your well-meaning attempt to help as a negative commentary intended to leave their self-confidence undermined and their self-worth demolished.

While you may try using more emotional intensity to break through the “wall” of the difficult, or even impossible person, you need recognize when you are wasting your effort and causing yourself more hardship and pain by struggling to win a no-win situation.

Once you realize you are being sucked into a petty personal power-struggle sparked insecure ego-domination, it’s time to change your tactics.

Engaging in a more aggressive communicating style will most likely serve to accomplish nothing more than to intensify the confronting defensiveness.

Calm down to clarify your thoughtsTake a few moments to calm down so you can get clear about exactly what it is that you want to communicate to the unreasonable person, and why.

The more emotional intensity you feel, the more impossible it will be for you to gather your thoughts and come up with a clear intention.

 You need to be calm to be clear.

 Once you know what you want to convey as your message, consider alternative communication strategies.

It might be best to wait and speak about it later, when you feel less threatened by the resistance posed by the “difficult individual” or when that other person can feel less threatened by you.

It might be best to compose a note and deliver it by hand, via e-mail or even via conventional post.

Think outside the box! I know one couple who found that writing down what they wanted to say, and letting the other person read it, right there in the midst of the conflict, would resolve the conflict and allowed both to calm down.

It may be that there is an unconscious hostility or antagonism conveyed by your tone of voice that is triggering the insecurity and defensiveness of the other person.

It may be that you are dealing with such a negative individual that he or she is intentionally resisting your point of view with an aim of “getting your goat” and making you feel dominated, feel powerless, feel out-of-control.

Whatever the other person’s hidden agenda though (which no doubt has it’s roots in early childhood), to the degree that a difficult mate, an unreasonable customer service rep, an excessively adamant boss, an insecure coworker, etc. can “get to you”, to that degree you have self-work to do.

If you feel frustration, if you feel insecure, if you feel powerless, YOUR REACTION IS YOUR FIRST COMMUNICATION PROBLEM. When you lose your peace and poise, you lose your power of persuasion – when the person you are facing is being defensive and insecure.

To communicate for success, you need to feel calm, feel confident, and feel secure. Then you are in the “right state” to come up with a strategic response, and your secure attitude and calm voice tone will help the other person to feel more secure – maybe secure enough to let down his or her guard against your rationale.

Make it part of your purpose to develop the self-confidence and develop the composure to calmly and securely face another’s resistance to your will.

And when NO communication course you can think of seems to work, take that as your cue that it is time to form a success strategy that does NOT depend upon effectively communicating with this unreachable human being.

Relate with another’s difficult personal behavior as your opportunity to recognize how YOU need to grow for less interpersonal conflict and more personal success and fulfillment.