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Lose Anxious Stress To Win Higher Success

It's ironic that we count on anxious stress to win higher success, when clearly looking at our stress reveals how inconsistent this choice is with our intentions.

To see this, really observe the influence of anxious states of stress upon you. See how they make you irritable and short-tempered with your loved ones, with your professional team, even with your clients. 

See how the harder you drive yourself under the influence of anxious stress the nearer its build-up takes you to a self-humiliating emotional meltdown that undoes your relationship bridge-building the way a build up of pressure takes a volcano toward an eruption that can wipe out a village that took generations to construct.

See how your anxious stress generates a negative attitude from you directed toward your life and toward your work, causing you to see both as unpleasant, even painful, maybe heart-rending, if not heart breaking, causing you to dislike your life and work. 

Our Attitudes Are Contageous

Our attitude radiates the way the sun radiates warmth and light.  Those exposed to our attitude absorb and reflect it, the way that our bodies radiate warmth when exposed to the heat radiating from the summer sun. This means that your negative attitude toward your work that the degree of stress you carry triggers from you leads your team and your clients toward a negative attitude regarding your business.

Anxious stress causes us to be in conflict with ourselves, driving us to look down on ourselves with a negative attitude, causing others to do the same.

Simply observing our stress reveals, therefore, that no matter how hard we work on accomplishing our goals, our stress works against the accomplishment of our goals.  We then encounter resistance to our efforts that seems mysteriously caused, and this just makes us all the more frustrated!

Observing the effects of our stress also reveals how it costs us our joy, because anxious stress is a form of unhappiness. To the extent that you are not enjoying yourself you are experiencing a sense of meaninglessness about it all.  We never wonder, What's the point of it all while we feel great.  We only question the meaning of going on from a state of emotional suffering.  So to the degree that we live in anxious stress we rob from ourselves the sacred treasure of a meaningful life.

Stop Looking From Anxious Stress

When we pay too little attention to what is going on inside of us, we confuse what we are doing to ourselves with what life and other people seem to be doing to us.  For instance, we feel attacked by life when we are unconsciously attacking ourselves by carrying our stress into life.

To the extent that we insist on living under the gun of anxious stress, we make our life, our work and all the people with whom we interact seem like our underminers; we then go on the attack because we feel attacked.

As we pay closer attention to how our stressful feelings function we discover that looking at our work, our life and the people in our life from the perspective of an anxiously stressful state pits us against ourselves, our lives and the people in our lives on whom we most rely. 

As we look within for the real cause of our stress we notice that contemplating a worrisome future possibility generates it.  It has nothing to do with the present.  It is a product of worrying that we are not doing enough, or others are not doing enough for us, or life is not doing enough for us, to ensure that we avoid some frightening destination.

But that dark and dismal destination is not real.  It is but a figment of our imagination, and we are using it to stress ourselves right out of this present moment where everything is really alright.

Beyond this, by envisioning a fearful outcome the self-sabotaging patterns caused by anxious stress can turn that vision into a self-fulfilling prophecy!

So what to do?  How to lose stress to win higher success?  First, realize that your anxious state of stress is not caused by anything going wrong in your past, present or future, but rather, your anxious state of stress causes you to see everything wrong!


A common event that triggers anxious stress is something occurring that forces you to turn your attention away from a task you are bent on completing.  All this or any other delay, deviation or distraction amounts to is a kind of speed bump in the road of life.  If you push ahead harder the bump hits you harder.  If you ease up and slow down you roll smoothly over the bump without the slightest jar.

To see, enjoy and feel grateful for how everything and everyone is really going right for you stop counting on anxious stress to make things right!  Counting on stress to help you attain a higher level is like grabbing onto a lead weight to lift you off the bottom of the sea!

Change How You Relate To Stress 

Instead of counting on the discomfort of stress to support you, examine it with suspicion, as you would relate to someone you know to be a crook who offers to carry your wallet for you.

Remind yourself that you don't want anxious stress. You might tell yourself, This is not the state I want to live in. But don't make the common mistake of thinking you need to change or control some situation or some person exterior to yourself to be stress-free. 

Catch yourself the moment you are about to habitually blame any outer condition or person or future possibility for the anxiety you feel.  Don't point to this or to that to justify your stress.  That would just keep you in it.  You only see this or that person or condition as a threat because you are looking from a stressed out perspective.

Finally, to leave stress take some deep, calming breaths; slow down; ease up. Relax your body, your pace and your tone of voice to express calm.  Think about inner peace and feeling totally secure within.  Pay close attention to your thinking and resist the temptation to mentally dwell on stress producing thoughts. 

As you put these stress-buster tips into practice, instead of heading toward a humiliating, self-sabotaging meltdown, you will see your stress gently melting away and your life, your work, your attitudes and your relationships all looking up.

Uplift your workforce or association membership with an inspiring speaker event, seminar or retreat program that leads them to losing destructive stress for higher success, team building and improved well-being.

Call Bob Lancer at 770-364-9580 or email me to discuss the positive possibilities.

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