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How To Win Interpersonal Conflicts

Winning interpersonal conflict does not involve competing with and defeating anyone.  It has to do with winning your liberation from the pain and drain of getting sucked into petty personal rivalries.

Here are some wisdom tips to help you win interpersonal conflicts.


The first tip is to remember that the root of all interpersonal conflict is personal insecurity.


The energy you use to mask your insecurity could be better employed to lose your insecurities.


When someone “gets to you”, look within to identify what it is in you that is getting psychically hooked.  This process of self-honestly facing of your inner self is the key that releases you.


In other words, looking for the “hook” dissolves the hook.


Seek the wise path through what is going on, the wise way for dealing with what you are facing.  The opposite of this is to blindly, emotionally react against what you don't like and for what you do like.  This is like refusing to look at a map when you are lost, and instead whimsically turning this way and that in the vain hope of finding your way home with this poor strategy.


Before you can find the wise path through your current circumstances, you need to clearly see what your circumstances are.  Only then can wisdom guide your responses.  Imagine the folly of asking someone for advice without clearly and accurately articulating the problem that you want advice for.


Inevitably, what you are actually going through is an inner situation.  In other words, you are conceiving of things being a certain way or you are imagining a particular condition.  By looking at your inner conception of your problem, by looking at your imaginary dilemma, you gradually clear it up.


No one is your enemy.  Whatever another's intentions toward you might be, it is your intention for yourself that determines your destiny.  If you intend to engage in the conflict, you direct your life toward conflict.  That makes you your enemy.  Seeing this liberates you from the futility and drain of self-opposition.


When you imagine someone crticizing your efforts as inadequate you dishearten yourself with such negative mental imagery.  This is a self-sabotaging pattern of insecurity to clearly discern.  

Like an enemy that can only overpower you beneath the cloak of darkness, but who would be easily side-stepped if that cloak was to be lifted, self-sabotaging patterns lose their power in the light of self-awareness.


The more attention, time and energy another person invests into abusing you the more power to personally succeed that individual loses.  As you steadfastly seek ways to better yourself and your situation, non-distracted by the temptation to “fight back” out of the pointless desire to prove your superiority, you demonstrate your superior wisdom and attain superior results.


The purpose of confrontations with what we perceive as “evil” is to goad us into self-improvement, which means that “evil” is really just another force directed at us that is ultimately for our own good.  To eliminate evil's presence from your life, remain fully committed to daily self-work aimed at self-betterment.  When the purpose for a condition is lost, the condition fades away.  Nothing in life has no purpose.


Anyone who opposes you is secretly in awe of you.  They unconsciously see you in a way that makes them feel inferior. In their cowardly effort to hide from this painful reality they doggedly hold onto a fabricated critical view of you as inferior.


If someone really does pose a danger to you, fearlessly facing this possibility is the beginning of overcoming it.


There are, or at least there really seems to be, forces of darkness opposed to the spreading of the light.  When you encounter someone who seems to operate under the cause of darkness, it means that your light is growing great enough to threaten the darkness in a significant way.  Celebrate this proof of your growth and don't fight the darkness; just continue working for the light and you'll be free.


As you follow these wisdom tips for winning interpersonal conflict, you will find any and all interpersonal barriers to your greater success dissolving.

Empower and uplift your work team with inspiring messages that dissolve interpersonal conflict.  

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