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Recover Your Power From The Victim Attitude

If you struggle with a victim attitude you also struggle with circumstances that appear to justify and reinforce that attitude, like financial instability, relationship dissatisfaction and work-life disappointment.


The key issue for improving your circumstances is recovering your power from the victim attitude.  This involves a reversal in thinking, for most people.


When people feel like victims they usually believe that their circumstances are the cause of how weak, worthless, dependent and helpless they feel, but this places the proverbial cart before the proverbial horse. 

Our attitudes produce the circumstances that reflect them.


But the victim attitude has to come from somewhere.  It comes from modeling received in childhood, whether one clearly remembers that modeling or not.


Those with a victim attitude learned through osmosis to use feelings of pathetic powerlessness and defeatism to manipulate others into rescuing them, thereby deriving a false sense of empowerment for themselves and rewarding their “savior” with a false feeling of the same.


The only people who are manipulated into rescuing people who feel like victims are people who feel helpless and powerless themselves; they unconsciously use the victim to temporarily escape those feelings.  But in the end, both “victim” and “rescuer” sink even more deeply into feelings of helpless powerlessness and worthlessness because all that has really been fed through this game is the false identification of self as a victim.


Those who taught us to feel like victims to get our way do not deserve our blame, but rather our compassion.  For they suffered the same losses and pain that we go through by living in the victim attitude.


The realization that the victim attitude manifests conditions of defeat and loss sparks the motivation to recover our true power from that attitude. This represents the first step to gaining freedom.


The next step is relating to the victim attitude as a learned pattern rather than as intrinsic to who we really are.  See it is a negative emotional pattern that has been overlaid upon your natural state of true, total empowerment and worthiness.


Step three is presuming that you learned the victim attitude manipulation pattern from your parents.  See if you can recall them modeling that pattern.  Even if you can't recall it, trust that it was there and feel compassion for the suffering it caused them.


Step four is feeling compassion for the child-self you were when you began receiving and suffering from the victim attitude in childhood.


Step five is to focus your attention on the feeling of being fully empowered right now to lead a life of ever expanding accomplishment, contribution, abundance, love, fulfillment and joy.  To whatever degree you can feel that feeling, focus your attention on it. 

Whatever you hold your attention on grows more powerful. 

So the longer you hold your attention on this feeling of total competence, self-value and empowerment the more that feeling fills your total state of feeling. Imagine this feeling expanding more and more widely until it fills the entire universe with its energy.


As you raise the level of your feeling state from victim to victor  you will soon see your circumstances changing in ways that reflect and reinforce your increasingly positive, empowered feeling state.  Things will start working out for, just as things were falling apart and letting you down the more deeply you plunged into the victim attitude.


Two of the most self-defeating ways of dealing with the victim attitude is to seek rescue from another and to attack yourself for it.  Both tactics lead into feeling more dependent, defeated and deserving of defeat, and thus produce circumstances that seem to validate those sorrowful feelings.


Recover your power from the victim attitude by focusing your attention on the feeling of your true state of total empowerment and worthiness. Then witness in delight more and more forms of glorious victory expanding in your life.

To inspire more positive and successful attitudes of empowerment and worthiness, email me to discus your keynote speaker or teeam building seminar needs. 

I also provide in-depth, transformational leadership coaching for deeper and more lasting change of self, circumstances and organizations.

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